42.2KM has NEVER been in my vocabulary (and it still isn't though I am working on it), but I need to prove that I'm back and I'm bad by testing myself, both physically and mentally (you could say that this is my way of coping, a bucket list tick to see what I'm really capable of). Truth is I've never thought of myself as runner and never realised how important running was in my life until I was told I couldn't run (they always say it's takes something to be taken away before you realise just how much it means to you) - at that point, I never wanted to take running or more importantly, my health, for granted again.

So, with the help of the beautiful people in my life - friends, family, my dog Martini, and not forgetting Sydney Harbour Runners, Andrew and Vision PT, RunLab and bedtime reading with Runner's World - I've donned the tight-ass tights (meow!), got some new WaveRiders, slurped the odd protein shake and am probably in the best shape of my life! It has been pretty tough to get this far but I'm really honoured to be a part of this amazing race and am determined to get round somehow!

To spur me on, I'd love to raise money for the POWHF. I chose this Foundation simply because I owe the staff at POW with my life. I need every bit of encouragment I can get so please dig deep to donate and come and shout for me on race day... Let's do this thing!!!

  "Everything you've ever wanted to know about yourself, you can learn in 42.2km."

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13/7/14 Sydney Harbour 10k in 51:31 - smashed a PB by over 7 mins and just cant stop smiling!!!

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28/07/14 So I ran 24km for the second time on Saturday in crazy rain and I swear the hills weren't there when I walk that route (did Bondi - Watsons Bay - C Quay). I was so wet that whenever I put my arms to my sides, water ran out, and into my shoes... I wasn't very happy by the time I got home - next time I'm taking my swimming goggles!!!

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5/08/14 Sometimes it's one step forward, three steps back?!? Sickness meant I missed out on steaming up Heartbreak Hill in C2S but determined to get back at it to make sure I get round 42km...

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10/08/14 So the good thing about missing out on C2S was that it at least gave some handsome stranger the opportunity to run as me and qualify into some elite group for next year - yew!!!!

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23/08/14 So three weeks without a run and I was beginning to wonder if I was capable of 42.2km... So I decided to attempt 32km!!! Not my wisest decision but necessary to start trying to believe again and get my head focused. I've realised it's very much a mental battle.

I used two friends  - Jamie (get well!) and Jods (virtual awesome training buddy) as my inspiration... After 4.8km, I wanted to quit but did a gel (some of those gels really do taste like sn0t - urgh) and managed to keep going... I combined the SHR Pyrmont, bridge and Anzac runs as thought this covered a lot of the course, which would be good mentally for race day.

By 24km, I had the worst cramp of my life in my feet so slowed to a run/walk for about 4km - I'd had it by then! Despite being in a lot of pain, I finally made it home, clocking up 30.6km - the furthest I've ever run in my life!!! It did leave me wondering how the heck I could add another 12km to that but also left me mentally stronger - I'm gonna get round that course somehow!!! 4 weeks and counting - tick tock...

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20/09/14 Not sure I can put into words what I feel today... The last 2 months of training hasn't at all gone to plan. I completely flunked my 3km time trial last Monday (added 24 secs to my time! that's what a wedding will do for you!) and I've only done 4 runs over 20km (24, 24, 30.6 and 31).

So the big day is tomorrow!!!! Sh!T!!! I sit here oscillating between being very nervous, wanting to bawl my eyes out and just feeling damned excited!

The truth is the last 9 months have been an amazing journey... I started not being able to do 20 box steps on the lower steps - unbelievable how weak I was and how fatigued all the time... I did weights for almost 5 months before adding in some serious running training. Despite being back of the pack, completing RunCamp in June spurred me on further and as soon as I had actually signed up for the marathon, there was no going back.

I think when I wrote that bucketlist last year, I never actually expected to get there! But somewhere in my head, I knew I was never giving up and needed to do this to feel like I could put everything behind me. Yeh there have been times I questioned I could, times I wanted to quit, times I was just plain miserable and over it, but overall, the journey has been truly amazing - I've learned so much about myself!

Once again, I've learned that whatever you believe you can do, you actually can do! The combination of the human body and spirit is a very powerful beautiful thing that not many people take time to reflect on or ever listen to. As a long-distance runner, you don't have a choice - you spend hours in your own head (with your seven different personalites!!! OMG) and without realising, you learn to train your mind, quieten your soul and enjoy the beautiful world around you as you speed by.

So whatever happens tomorrow, I feel like I've won already... The fact that I'm even at the starting line is a massive achievement... The real question is what I'm capable of? I truly have no idea though I have told the Sydney Striders Pace Bus that I'd like a back seat by the window... Let the fun begin! See you at Opera Bar!

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25/09/14 It's Thursday... My head's all over as it's been a truly amazing, wonderous week.. Last Sunday I DID A MARATHON!!!! WHOOOO WHOOOO YEW!

What an incredible journey the last 9 months have been - I've learned so much about myself and been lucky enough to share the ride with some truly beautiful people. The last two months of training hadn't gone to plan at all and last week I was so emotional as I couldnt belive I'd even made it to the start line!!!

Sunday morning I was an absolute mess - I guess focusing on training had been my way of dealing with hospital last year and I'd never really allowed myself to think about the what if but the truth is that they were pretty bleak months. I suddenly felt that no matter what happened during the race, I could leave all that behind me!

Unfortunately I was struggling to control all of this so wasn't exactly chirpy when my amazing support crew, Roz, Celine, Jam and Ol, and fellow runners, Tonia and Jods, turned up at the crack of dawn. The millions of texts and calls pre-race did help and I was so glad to talk to my Mum and Dad though I was really disappointed they couldn't be here. The rain calmed me a little and I tried to focus on just enjoying the journey. We wandered to the start (so glad I live nearby!), did some warm ups RunLab style and introduced ourselves to the Sydney Striders 4hr pace bus. Jods had to dive off to the loo again so unfortunately, we lost the bus before we even made it to the start line.

The feeling of running over the bridge, and being amongst all those people, proudly wearing my marathon bib was like no other. Hearing my support crew and seeing them waving crazily was awesome! Jods, but particularly Tonia, started really quickly and I decided to let them go ahead rather than go out too soon - so I was pretty much on my own by the 3km mark!

I was feeling comfortable and playing through in my head what I was planning with gels and water, etc, but I was really just winging it as none of my training runs had ever seemed to go to plan lol! I got my first cheer going up Macquarie St (thanks Matty!) as I passed those waiting for the loo (what are they thinking lol) and also got a wave from a fellow runlabber running speedily miles ahead of me.

Everyone was in great spirits and heaps of people turned out to cheer us on - I particularly loved the sign "You paid for this" near Hyde Park - yeh what the heck was I thinking!!! I ran over the road bridge thinking how many times I'd seen people do that before and never thought it would be me! I'd settled into a comfortable gait and was still pretty smiley at this point. I have to admit I felt a bit disgruntled as we got stopped at the traffic lights going up Oxford St and made to wait - this soon turned to appreciation once I realised it was to let the wheelchair marathoners through - what amazing people!!! It was a great feeling to be able to cheer them on. Imagine not being able to run! - we take so much for granted in our lives.

I was feeling pretty good going into Centennial Park though wasn't looking forward to the going round and round, and looping back. The rain had stopped by then and I tried to concentrate on my breathing - I felt like I'd been running forever so was surprised to see I'd only done 13km! I tried to kid myself only 5km more to go - yeh right!

The park wasn't a particularly nice part because of the uneven ground, and constant looping back on ourselves and being disorientated! A few funny things did happen though - the guy with the GoPro videoing the man videoing him, and the guy in front of me with the "clothing bib" stuck to the back of his shirt (I actually laughed out loud!), and there was another guy running with a SLR taking photos - insane! The best bit was running with the elites (ok admittedly going in the other direction) and shouting them on whilst running past... Then I realised they were 20km ahead of me and homeward bound!!! On one of the u-turns, I saw Jods and Tonia doing great probably about 5 and 10 mins ahead of me and yelled out some encouragement.

I couldn't believe the variety of people - every age, size and speed! Such a great atmosphere with everyone looking out for everyone else - most still smiling. There were also some guys pushing wheelchairs who I seemed to catch up with at every toilet stop they made lol. I'd got my gels off to a tee by this point and had been drinking electrolytes every station (depsite never having them previously... you know what they say about not trying anything new on race day... oops) as I'd suffered A LOT of cramps in the week prior to the race.

The cramp in my feet hit at about 21.6km!!! I tried to visualise oxygen flowing through my body, concentrating again on my breathing. I have to admit at that point I wasn't sure I would make it to the finish knowing how severe my cramps usually are. I pushed onwards, trying to focus on what I saw around me - it's amazing how much small interactions with other runners who were also strugglling helped. Actualy, there was a real sense of camaraderie, developed with total strangers striving for the same goal - wonderous really. I picked up so many people along the way with kind words and a joke "come on, keep running" "you are going the wrong way" and as many did the same for me.

Because of cramp, I'd slowed right up (I had knocked 6 minutes off my previous half time though!)... It was such a relief to get out the park and I focused thinking about Hyde Park where RunLab would be, knowing that would give me a much needed lift. Turning into Oxford Street, I smiled a while seeing the sign that had once announced "Marathon 15 days to go" now shining "Marathon in progress" - hell yeh this was what I'd been waiting for!!!

I then spotted Brezza (I never realised how tall he is) and a crazy bunch of people jumping up and down in the distance! The RunLab crew ( I have to admit it was all a bit of a blur: Ranu, Marianna, Brezza, Cheryl, Vlad, Liz, and Josh (doing some crazy shit with a megaphone!) at 30km were awesome shouting, yelling and being very excitable - high fiving them and seeing their smiley faces was the best feeling - it truly made my day!

Then straight after seeing them, there was Kimmy doing her special dance! I remember shouting "Kimmy, I am so glad to see you!" and bless her, she ran down the rest of Oxford St with me! I so needed that! Coming back up over that bridge into Hyde Park was tough and everything was seriously hurting with cramp by then (31km) ... I tried to focus on the fact that it was homeward bound now and only 10km to go... lol

Running around Circular Quay was awesome - so many people lining the streets to cheer everyone on! It was getting hot and I was trying to think of things to distract myself... like who else I might see around the route - i heard a few people yell out but didnt always see who! Turning towards the passenger terminal, I saw a massive orange sign wtih "Go Emma" and "You can do it" and wanted to leap with joy at seeing my besties, Celine, Jam, Sal and Ol. They all got a very sweaty hug and kiss!!!

Hitting Hickson Road, there was soooo many discarded tablets, capsules and clothing (no body parts yet!) that I laughed to myself that marathoners are a very weird bunch! This section was where I knew I would struggle as it goes on forever plus you are runnig away to come back again! Luckily, just after I'd hit up more Isowhey stuff (kept telling myself it was superpowers - yeh I know the placebo effect and all that!), I saw the amazing shrunners crew, Todd, Erin and Andrew ahead! They were yelling but must have seen the pain on my face  - Erin dashed round the barrier to give me a much needed hug! It was the lift I needed to keep reciting "One foot in front of the other".

The runners had thinned considerably and there were a lot of people walking by this point (35km) - some people were in a lot more agony than me though continued to struggle on - the human spirirt and determination really is quite amazing and it's laughable that we want to put ourselves through that! My Dad was tracking my progress the whole way from the UK and I wished I known this at this point as I sure needed to feel he was with me.

Going out over the flyover was full sun and full on pain, so I was absolutely elated when I saw Jods ahead of me. Catching her up was awesome and spurred me on to try and push to keep up with her. My cramp was a constant ache with really sharp pains that had me crying out loud regularly by now (I would loved to have recorded the noises I made!).

I thought that section of the run would never end, I was sure the distance left wasnt going down at all!!! It's amazing how many people you learn to recognise during the race - there were several who had sped off early only for me to overtake them on the flyover! I met an older lady I had seen much earlier in the park and said hi and asked how she was doing - she said " We are going to make it, aren't we?" "And we are going to smash my 5hr time of last year." Moments like that are what memories are made of, I was already feeling emotional knowing the finish was nigh.

I was extremely grateful to see the shrunners crew still there suporting - Todd came out across the road to video and high-five me! Another much needed lift! At the next drinks station, some of the elite drinks were in with the others and I remember seeing Makino's and wondering if it would give me wings!!! To try or not to try?!? Ha!

The end was close by then (42km) I could almost taste it but by god, that last 0.195km round under the bridge was agony - you give all you've got and yet your body (and head) is crying out to stop. Hitting the crowds again helped. I shouted out to an old guy to keep running as we were so close... the atmosphere was electric - I felt like I was at the Olympics about to win gold!!! I'm so glad Jods and I were running together at that point - we saw our besties again, going wild for us (that was the Ab Fab photo moment!) and steamed on towards the line.

Crossing the line was indescribable and a moment I'lll never forget. So glad Jods was there to share the glory, tears and hugs. Vik and Kim also found us though I dont remember too much I have to admit as I was a little shell shocked by completing the whole thing - I seriously couldnt believe I'd ran 42.2km!

So many people have asked me what it was like - I have to say that I'd recommend everyone to do a marathon at some point in their life (and rememer, anyone can if you believe you can) as it truly was a beautiful experience - 42kms of pure party!!!! ;-)

Also, I'm now the proud owner of a marathon t-shirt and a medal... But the best bit... that feeling of being alive again... I FREAKING DID IT!!!!

PS Me, Jods and Tonia with our amazing support crew and other fellow runners were the last marathiners standing at Opera Bar, dancing til sunset (active recovery is best!) to end the most perfect day...

PSS My Garmin said 4h 18m and my net time 4h 23m - took me ages to work out why and then I realised that my watch autopauses!!!

PSSS I pulled up really well - aches in my back and cramp in feet but by Wednesday I was ready to run again!

PSSSS I went to Parliament on Tuesday evening, invited by Pat Farmer for the launch of his Middle East Peace Run film - a very apt event for this week, very humbled to attend - makes me want to change the world! Also importantly made me remember when I was sick and read Pole to Pole - it humbled me that one person could do that for so many others and made me realise that ordinary people can do extraordinary things... That's the moment I added marathon to my bucketlist - I've never been a good runner but hell I could only have a go...